The Couric, the Cowboy and Real News

Ya, I know there are people who care which pompous celebrity reads the news on which network. In my opinion, no one has done a really ample job since Jane Curtin and Dan Aykroyd on Saturday Night Live many years ago. If CBS would announce that Katie Kouric, was actually planning to elevate the quality of the news broadcasting to Jane's standards, that would be something notable. Something to tune in for.

She has decided, instead, to actually lower the level of journalistic discourse by presenting us the Resident of the US on her first show. Live! Well, sort of; it's an exerpt from a live interview she plans to do. Now won't that be ground-breaking and creative? It's not like we haven't had plenty of chance to be exposed to him. Frankly I've developed an allergy. I have Bush rash.

Why does she not have Neil Bush on to discuss the evils of venereal disease [family values], or have a true investigative effort looking into that guy Laura Bush killed in Texas when she was young -- you know, her boyfriend. Or perhaps she might look into Marvin Bush's financial empire in the Middle East, or if she would investigate the bibulous Bush girls and the fact that they have not been sacrificed in Iraq [staying the course], or if she would look into that Savings and Loan bail-out some years ago from which a certain Bush family member seems to have profited [entrepreneurialism]. Or how the property on which the Texas Rangers constructed a stadium was taken by eminent domain....well, that might be something to wanna watch.

Or Jeb Bush's family! Now there's a "family circus!"

Oh, there are so many possibilities.

But, I understand. We don't want to turn our news broadcasts into scandal sheets and gossip columns, do we? Instead, just give us ol' George. Just what we wanted. Maybe he'll sing us a song. I saw online a cool rendition of "Stop That Shit" based on his wit 'n' wisdom. Maybe he could sing that to us. Or whistle it.





Here's an idea! Couric could interview him on his ranch. He could show us how he ropes the broncs and rounds up the dogies and brands them with his special brand. We could see him as he rides along the fenceline with his fluffy little black yap-yap ranch dog. We could watch him gather with his hands, you know, Ol' Gabby, Alamo Joe, and the tenderfoot, Billy Boy. They could brew coffee around the fire and swap trail stories, just like the movies. Seeing our President rough-and-ready and hard at it "gittin' 'er done" hacking on the brush, and so on, would be a great chance to bring us back to the things that really matter in life.

Oh, I know, it's not a real ranch, and there's only one horse, and there aren't actually any cattle, but still, what form of reality do you want on your TV news? Real reality or reality show reality?