Comments on the Presidential Race

Hillary Clinton keeps saying the Barack Obama hasn't passed the "Commander in Chief" test. I hope I'm not letting a national security secret out of the bag here, but neither has she -- she's been in the senate 7 years, which is about 13 years less than the Republican nominee has been in the same august body. So I think she's playing with fire here. But when you're 100 delegates behind, maybe that's a game worth playing.

Who did pass the "C in C" test? I think Al Gore did, but I didn't get a chance to vote for him this time around. George Bush the lesser definitely didn't -- he just sat in the big chair in Texas for a few years, oblivious that there were continents across the sea (he was vaguely aware of Mexico).

Lyndon Johnson, Kennedy, Nixon -- none of them really passed the "C in C" test prior to becoming leader of the free world. I think of all of the recent "deciders", George Bush the "greater" had the best preparation, and he ended up using all his moxie for the largely successful Gulf War Vol. I to some effect. But Truman did all right in the Commander in Chief department, I'd say, and he didn't have a whole lot more prep than either of this year's Democrats.

In the end, we relied on the judgment of these men.

Sufferin' Succotash

In a comment which has drawn the rightful ire of, well, just about everyone with a central nervous system, Laura Bush said this about Iraq during an interview by reporter Ann Curry on NBC's Today show:

AC: "You know the American people are suffering watching..."

LB: "Oh, I know that very much, and believe me, no one suffers more than their president and I do when we watch this."

Well, we all knew he was suffering, but opinions vary on the cause of his malady.

Bush and Wolf are shocked

Both George Bush and Wolf Blitzer say the nation is shocked.

Actually, guys, there are some of us who aren't even surprised, much less shocked.

As our fearful and trepid leader, himself, has so eloquently explained:
"There's an old saying in Tennessee
—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—
that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you.
Fool me—um -- fool me -- you can't get fooled again."

Fact is, we have seen this before and are no longer fooled. Some of us, at least.

Pax Americana

Wed Apr 11, 2007 6:44AM EDT

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The White House wants to appoint a high-profile overseer to manage the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan but has had trouble finding someone to take the job, The Washington Post reported on Wednesday.

At least three retired four-star generals approached by the White House in recent weeks have turned down the position, the report said.

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COMMENT: If he had a horse, as did Caligula, he would declare him Proconsul and shower him with Presidential Metals of Freedom.

How will we ever repair the damage to our country?

This is not Rome. This is not Czarist Russia. This is not even the old British Empire. This is the democratic republic of the United States --- although many of us have stopped acting like it.

One More Corrupted Thought from Our Leader

Quoting our Leader
"I'm a strong proponent of the restoration of the wetlands, for a lot of reasons. There's a practical reason, though, when it comes to hurricanes: The stronger the wetlands, the more likely the damage of the hurricane."


—Discussing post-Katrina wetland improvements, New Orleans, March 1, 2007


CLICK

costume dramas and stage whimpers

Some of our readers may have noticed ARBORETUM's antipathy to W. Bush. Even when we try to be nice, the disdain seems to ooze through. A fellow blogger, and one infinitely more talented than Old Chip, has this to say, scornfully, about one of Bush's latest brainstorms.

from: August J. Pollak (http://www.xoverboard.com/)
"Seriously. He actually complained about this.

"Look, regardless of political stripes, can it at least be accepted that almost since September 11, 2001, George W. Bush has been a living, breathing photo-op? For Bush to complain that his opponents are engaging in "political theater" is like... wow. I'm having trouble thinking of an analogy here.

"Okay, imagine Mr. T. He's standing atop a pile- no, a hill- consisting of every single fool he has pitied in his entire life. They're all just there. A big pyramid of fools, all of whom were pitied by Mr. T. And standing atop the fool pyramid is Mr. T himself, looking down on you. And he says but one thing, and that is how upset he is with you for pitying fools.

"And that's what it's like with President Bush to say that he dislikes political theater. And you're just standing there, thinking just what you would think with Mr. T on the fool pile: Man, that guy's career has really hit the shitter, hasn't it?"



CLICK FOR POLLAK

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I wonder what Mr. Pollack had in mind: The codpiece demonstration aboard the aircraft carrier? The bullhorn atop the pile of rubble in NY City? The plastic turkey passed around on Halloween at the military base in Baghdad?



Bush is not simply a bonehead, Bush is a theatrical bonehead. Right on Mr. Pollak.

TUESDAY EVENING QUIZ 03/20/07

ASSIGNMENT; IDENTIFY as many absurdities as you can in this picture.



EXTRA CREDIT will be given liberally to those of you who find more than 3.

Isn't this thrilling? It's almost like a MENSA question.






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Note: Last week we showed you a picture of a guy. (not one of you even tried to get it right.) He was Sam Fox, a heritary billionaire and a top contributor to Republican causes and candidates. He contributed a lot to the Swift Boat campaign that damaged Kerry in the last election. The reason he has infuriated so many Democrats is that he's been nominated for Ambassador to Belgium by the current resident of the White House. Some of them hate him too much to approve him. When Fox appeared before Kerry's committee last week, Kerry spoke impolitely to him.

SYCMU: Avenging 9/11?

This is hard to believe, but Newsweek is reporting that documents show that Douglas Feith, one of Rumsfeld's underlings at the Pentagon, proposed attacking Paraguay after 9/11 as "a surprise to the terrorists" who were expecting an attack on Afghanistan. Feith's Office of Special Plans apparently cooked up the scheme, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. If this were a bad movie, the obligatory reply to this trail balloon would be, "That's so crazy, it just might work!"

I think it's so crazy, I'm including it in my "Stuff You Can't Make Up" series. Per Newsweek:

They argued that an attack on terrorists in South America—for example, a remote region on the border of Paraguay, Argentina and Brazil where intelligence reports said Iranian-backed Hizbullah had a presence—would have ripple effects on other terrorist operations. The proposals were floated to top foreign-policy advisers.

An attack?!? Well, yes, that surely would have surprised the terrorists. I'm sure it would have been something of a shock to Paraguayans and Brazilians, too.

Readers may recall that my honeymoon included a visit to this precise area of the world, which includes the glorious falls at Iguazu. By "remote," Newsweek can only mean "a long way from our New York offices," which it certainly is. But it's not remote like the Outback or the Andes -- Paraguay's Ciudad Del Este and its Brazilian neighbor city, Faz de Iguassu, are buzzing metropolises. The Paraguayan side is certainly poor, but the Brazilian side doesn't seem that far removed from American standards of living. People drive Fords and Chevys and Nissans, and you can buy a McDonald's cheeseburger. While you're in the area, you can also visit the largest hydroelectric dam in the Western hemisphere.


There's a lawlessness of sorts there, sure. Free market capitalism thrives like few other places I've seen. Waiting for hours in the scorching January sun in Ciudad Del Este to cross into Brazil, we were approached a hundred times by street vendors selling everything from Coca-Colas to sunglasses to porno to rip-cord helicopter toys.

Smugglers were active, too. They circumvented the long lines of autos waiting to cross the river and the border by hand-carrying computer parts, toys and big-screen televisions across. Many avoided Brazilian tariffs by stopping at a point where the bridge had entered Brazil, and lowering their goods by rope to accomplices more than 100 feet below on the banks of the Parana river. There's a show of resistance, of course: The bridge is enclosed by tall chain-link fences once it's over solid ground again. But the smugglers have cut away a big section of the fence so they can lower their goods. All of this in broad daylight, in full view of the Brazilian border post less than a quarter-mile away. It's a gentleman's bargain, of sorts, because if Brazilian officials clamped down on the trade here, these guys would just load the stuff on boats and zip it across a few miles away.

Anyway, I've heard chatter before that Hezbollah and other terrorist groups "operate" in the area. But let's be clear about what that means: They might have some people hiding there. They aren't putting up posters or setting up terrorist training camps. It's hart to imagine what an attack on this area would actually target, other than apartment blocks, empenada shops and urban sprawl. It's not exactly a hotbed of Islamic radicalism plopped down in the middle of Catholic Latin America. It's the heart of the region's push for modernization, and the cab drivers still cross themselves when passing the portal of a church. Iguazu is a big tourist destination, with grand national parks in both Argentina and Brazil, which are both World Heritage Sites. The nearby dam at Itaipu dwarfs Hoover Dam and provides a quarter of Brazil's power. Yeah, really. Remote? Not so much.

Look, if Hezbollah really has guys down there, let's pull some strings with Brazil, Argentina and Paraguay, and go round 'em up. These aren't unreasonable countries -- heck, Bush just took a jaunt in the neighborhood and shook a lot of hands. We could send a dozen Spanish-speaking FBI agents, a few million dollars to grease the wheels, and bust up this supposed "den" of terrorism in a few weeks. My experience in the region is that five or ten bucks opens a lot of doors, so tracking those guys down wouldn't be hard. They don't have sympathizers in high places. It's not like Baghdad, folks -- Islamic fundamentalists don't exactly blend in to Latin culture. Think more along the lines of Joe Pesci in "My Cousin Vinny".

I used to think I knew what "mind-boggling" meant. But I have a whole new appreciation now, thanks to the ever-enlightening Bush administration.

(Hat-tip to Atrios for noting this story.)

desaparecidos* (the disappeared)

Well, Bush, I think this really means it's over.


Lithuania Mulling Iraq Troop Withdrawal

By Associated Press
Feb 21 2007

VILNIUS, Lithuania -- Lithuania is "seriously considering" withdrawing its 53 troops from Iraq, a government spokeswoman said Wednesday.

Defense Ministry spokeswoman Ruta Apeitkyte told The Associated Press that the Baltic country was considering not replacing the contingent when its mission ends in August.

It was the first time that Lithuania, a staunch U.S. ally, indicated it would reduce its commitment in Iraq.
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* Word commonly used in some Latin American countries for those who 'disappeared' after being arrested by the government. In this case, those who are disappearing from Iraq, thanks to the Bush disaster.
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SWAT HIM FOR ME, TOO

"A float depicting U.S. President George W. Bush being spanked by the Statue Of Liberty passes by during the Rose Monday carnival parade in Mainz, western Germany, on Monday, Feb. 19, 2007. Thousands of spectators attended the traditional street carnival parade in the state of Rhineland-Palatinates's capital. (AP Photo/Bernd Kammerer)"

SEE IT HERE

(via WTF is it now? AP, Yahoo)

MICHIGAN SUES THE EPA

The Environmental Protection Agency, which under the Bush government protects business before it protects the environment (this is a matter of public policy for the Bush government, not just a hysterical claim from some Democrats), has made an edict that allows some cement companies to emit illegal levels of mercury pollution. Ah, can it be illegal you ask, if the EPA has set the standards? Oh yes, the EPA often acts counter to the law.

Now Michigan is suing the bastards. Along with Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania,Connecticut,and Delaware, our state has filed suit against the EPA. The EPA rules set stricter standards for new operations than for old ones, and this is contrary to the Environment Protection Act, say the plaintiffs. All the mercury pollution should be curbed.

CLICK FOR ARTICLE

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WACKO OF THE WEEK

OH DEAR! Where to start?

There have been so many crazies at work around the world this week, it's almost too much to handle!

Of course, you all think that we will be declaring the Astro-naughty, Lisa M. Nowak (the astronaut caught in a love triangle and now accused of trying to kill another woman) to be Wacko-of-the-Week. It seems no one could be more deserving nor worked harder to achieve the award.


In fact, if you deconstruct her name you find "L.M.N. IS A WAKO" right in it!

TA-DA! A wacko, Ipso Facto! Case closed? Right?
Well, not quite yet.

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She is not the only Wacko running loose this week.

What about the guy who stripped and masturbated in a ski Gondola in Vermont? When arrested he was found to be carrying illegal drugs. His comment, "Oh, damn, more trouble!" He was going uphuill at the time, but now his life seems to be going downhill.

STORY

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Then there is the Canadian man who has been hassling the authorities for 3 years to remove a stump in Lake St. Clair because it's a danger to lake users. You guessed it, he ran into it with his snowmobile and killed himself. Now, that's hard to believe on several levels.

STORY

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Or the Optician in Toronto who attacked a TV reporter looking into claims that he was hot-headed and didn't honor services to clients who disagreed with him.

CNN VIDEO AVAILABLE HERE

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AND THERE ARE OTHER CHOICES: We haven't even mentioned that Iranian fool, Ahminadinajahdwhatsis, who threatened George Bush with 'nuc-cu-lar' war if we even looked crooked at him. Threaten Bush with nukes? You shouldn't tug on Superman's cape or mess around with LeRoy Brown.

It was a good week for nuts like us Arboreans.
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FINALLY: Here's our choice:

STATE SENATOR CARL KRUGER

Walk, jog or bicycle across a New York street with an iPod plugged in your ears and you could get slapped with a $100 ticket under a new law proposed by a legislator from Brooklyn. State Sen. Carl Kruger's bill would also outlaw the use of cell phones, Blackberries, video games or other electronic devices when crossing the street.

IPOD STORY

Sen. Carl is a fighter against modernity. A Luddite! A stick-in-the-mud! A Don Quixote! Fie on the obstacles to progress like Senator Kruger. Call him Carl-the-"Freddie Kruger" -Wacko of the Week.

FLUNKING HIS SCIENCE TEST

It is not news to any regular reader of this humble blog that we in the ARBORETUM are supportive of scientific methods and scientific investigation. This applies especially to matters of the environment and conservation. This is one great area of our disagreement with the current government in Washington, not that he/they give a damn what we think.


We are also supportive of America's scientific efforts in space. As Stephen Hawking has said, ultimately space will be the salvation of mankind, if mankind is to be saved. (read about here)

One journalistic commentator whose opinions I respect and whose writings I think interesting is Derrick Z. Jackson of the Boston Globe. Recently he discussed the difference between the attitudes of one Republican president, Eisenhower, and those of the current Republican decider, Mr. Bush.

CLICK FOR ARTICLE (registration may be required)

This is one paragraph:
[Berrien] Moore [of the National Academy of Sciences] said the least the Bush administration could do is restore the earth science budget to the levels of the Clinton administration. Just as frustrating to him is that even as the evidence piles up that humans cause global warming -- the Intergovenmental Panel on Climate Change releases major new data this week -- there is no White House proposal to cap fossil fuel emissions. Moore said it is "almost irresponsible" that the CEOs of 10 major corporations have called for caps on carbon dioxide emissions but Bush still has not.

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There is a silly notion whirring through part of society that science must be made to serve some people's concept of Christianity. There are is another notion that science must be made to serve some people's idea of good business, and there is a third notion that science must be made to serve some people's political interests. It is apparent that our current White House occupant has all three of these attitudes.

These continue to be good reasons for jubilation when he finally exits, stage far right.
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Bush, now and then

Andrew Sullivan brings attention to a really, really amazing video of George Bush now vs. George Bush then... and it's probably not quite what you think.

You're probably thinking this is some hit job showing Bush changing his positions on important issues or something along those lines. That would be easy, but that's not it. No, this video shows George Bush now -- babbling, inarticulate, a disorganized speaker -- vs. the George Bush who ran for governor.

It's stunning, actually.

Sullivan: Another Bush

Good legislation from Bush!?!?

Well, I imagine I'm totally missing the plot here, but I believe I've found a piece of legislation being proposed by the Bush Administration which sane human beings can actually support. No, I'm not kidding, not being facetious, and not trivializing. This is a real piece of legislation that actually resembles -- gasp! -- good policy. Did someone let Jeb in the house?

The Bushies are proposing new farm legislation that would:

- Save $18 billion, mostly by cutting off rich farmers from subsidies ($200,000+ in adjusted gross income)

- Increase subsidies to farmers for conservation efforts on their lands

- Includes $2.1 billion in loans to farmers who grow ethanol crops other than corn (which includes switchgrass, wood chips, etc.)

Sounds good to me. Which, naturally seems suspicious. So what am I missing here?

Toledo Blade story

HIGH ABOVE YALE

Have you heard that when he was younger,George W. Bush was so dyslexic that he kept walking into bras?

(thanks to Dashman)

INTREPID AIR FORCE SPOKESPERSON EXPLAINS SOMETHING

15 Days after an air force pilot (retired) reported seeing strange lights in the sky, "not of this world," the Air Force has pushed forward a spokesperson to say that the lights were flares which they dropped over Arkansas on parachutes. Some of you may recall that this is the same explanation they gave for the Phoenix lights.

We doubt this could be the true story for the following reasons:
1. The report is too soon. At least 20 years need to elapse between a "sighting" and the true story to emerge from the government.

2. The explanation does not fall within the parameters of explanation which are officially accepted in the ABORETUM. Angels, we accept. Temperature inversions and other "freak" weather, we accept. We even accept "weird weather." We accept balloons and planes and the Star of Bethlehem. If the Air Force wishes its explanations to be credible, it will have to frame them within officially established boundaries.

3. Officially, the ARBORETUM Plenary Session of the Mammal Caucus has determined that the "object" was really the planet Mercury dancing around in the sky as it is likely to do in the eyes of "some people" (wink-wink). Reconsideration of our official decision would have to await the next meeting of the Plenary Session which is scheduled for Oct XX, XXXX (Classified).

4. George W. Bush, shown here, was an Air Force pilot. Not sure of the relevance of this except he sometimes even now straps on a flightsuit, and although he mayn't have shown up for actual flying, he could tell Mercury from flaming balls.




Here judge for yourself. One of these is Mercury, the other is the "light not of this world." You tell which is which.



Even George couldn't tell those orbs apart.
So, that's it, case closed.
No flying saucers.

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quoted without comment from us

The Texas Strategy
By Paul Krugman
The New York Times

Monday 15 January 2007

Hundreds of news articles and opinion pieces have described President Bush's decision to escalate the Iraq war as a "Hail Mary pass."

But that's the wrong metaphor.

Mr. Bush isn't Roger Staubach, trying to pull out a win for the Dallas Cowboys. He's Charles Keating, using other people's money to keep Lincoln Savings going long after it should have been shut down - and squandering the life savings of thousands of investors, not to mention billions in taxpayer dollars, along the way.

LOOKING FOR A WISE GUY

There is so much excitement in the ARBORETUM as Tuesday evening approaches.

All the denizens here are atwitter with anticipation for the STATE OF THE UNION message. We have heard that there has been a metamorphosis in attitudes in the White House. We're anticipating huge new announcements:

1. he'll decide that our children can come home from Iraq. They've been wanting this for so long. Oh, Thank you! Thank you!

2. he will ask Congress for new appropriations for alternative energy research. We are so grateful.

3. he will restore the cuts he made to the National Forest Service. Oh, Joy! Now we can save the beech trees and the ash trees.

4. he will call for restoring scholarship cuts. Now our owls will be able to hoot once more. All our little progeny may now reach for greatness, just as if they'd been born rich and priveleged.

5. he will ask Congress for a new Department of Global Warming. Chills run up and down our spines!

6. he will announce that the world has been found to be spherical. That, according to recent research, water runs downhill. That a sunny sky is blue. That bears shit in the woods. That it will soon be possible to fly to the moon on gossamer wings.

OH HELL, Maybe snowballs will turn into ice cream.
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LEAVES FALLING IN THE ARBORETUM

SOUTHERN METHODIST UNIVERSITY --- that's 'SMU' for you sports fans --- is locked in the throes of an argument over President Bush. No, it's not his policies, it's him! Many of the SMU-chers don't want George's liberry built there, as he has threatened to do (even if it is, ahem, functionally small.) The anti-building effort has been joined by a flock of professors.

We are announcing that Bush's liberry is not welcome in the ARBORETUM either. We have these reasons:
1. It would detract from the peaceful ambience of the Arboretum.
2. It would artract an unwelcome clientele.
3. He's an idiot.

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DATELINE AMSTERDAM:
(news item)

"Amsterdam's red-light district will soon get a new attraction: a statue to honor prostitutes around the world. The statue, designed by artist Els Rijerse, will likely be unveiled at the end of March, Dutch news agency ANP reported."(Reuters)

Ya, ya. We love the use of that word "unveiled." Very nice work, Reuters. :)

The ARBORETUM is planning on inviting some of the honorees to do a commemorative tree planting in the confines of our green haven. A cherry tree would be appropriate we thought.

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WE, here in the ARBORETUM, are avid fans of the World Women's Pillow-Fighting Championships. Steve the Scientist is especially avid; he has a soft spot for pillows. Or is it women? We know that the finals were held in New York last night, but have been unable to find out who the winner was. If any of you were there, please let us know who won. In this picture, Betty Clock'er is shown defeating Polly Ester in a qualifying match held earlier in the week.