LOOKING FOR A WISE GUY

There is so much excitement in the ARBORETUM as Tuesday evening approaches.

All the denizens here are atwitter with anticipation for the STATE OF THE UNION message. We have heard that there has been a metamorphosis in attitudes in the White House. We're anticipating huge new announcements:

1. he'll decide that our children can come home from Iraq. They've been wanting this for so long. Oh, Thank you! Thank you!

2. he will ask Congress for new appropriations for alternative energy research. We are so grateful.

3. he will restore the cuts he made to the National Forest Service. Oh, Joy! Now we can save the beech trees and the ash trees.

4. he will call for restoring scholarship cuts. Now our owls will be able to hoot once more. All our little progeny may now reach for greatness, just as if they'd been born rich and priveleged.

5. he will ask Congress for a new Department of Global Warming. Chills run up and down our spines!

6. he will announce that the world has been found to be spherical. That, according to recent research, water runs downhill. That a sunny sky is blue. That bears shit in the woods. That it will soon be possible to fly to the moon on gossamer wings.

OH HELL, Maybe snowballs will turn into ice cream.
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