Thursday, January 25, 2007

INTREPID AIR FORCE SPOKESPERSON EXPLAINS SOMETHING




15 Days after an air force pilot (retired) reported seeing strange lights in the sky, "not of this world," the Air Force has pushed forward a spokesperson to say that the lights were flares which they dropped over Arkansas on parachutes. Some of you may recall that this is the same explanation they gave for the Phoenix lights.

We doubt this could be the true story for the following reasons:
1. The report is too soon. At least 20 years need to elapse between a "sighting" and the true story to emerge from the government.

2. The explanation does not fall within the parameters of explanation which are officially accepted in the ABORETUM. Angels, we accept. Temperature inversions and other "freak" weather, we accept. We even accept "weird weather." We accept balloons and planes and the Star of Bethlehem. If the Air Force wishes its explanations to be credible, it will have to frame them within officially established boundaries.

3. Officially, the ARBORETUM Plenary Session of the Mammal Caucus has determined that the "object" was really the planet Mercury dancing around in the sky as it is likely to do in the eyes of "some people" (wink-wink). Reconsideration of our official decision would have to await the next meeting of the Plenary Session which is scheduled for Oct XX, XXXX (Classified).

4. George W. Bush, shown here, was an Air Force pilot. Not sure of the relevance of this except he sometimes even now straps on a flightsuit, and although he mayn't have shown up for actual flying, he could tell Mercury from flaming balls.




Here judge for yourself. One of these is Mercury, the other is the "light not of this world." You tell which is which.



Even George couldn't tell those orbs apart.
So, that's it, case closed.
No flying saucers.

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