Wednesday, January 17, 2007

REPUBLICAN HUMOR (prt. 12)

A very rich old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become a Democrat. Get me a change of registration form."

"This is something we could do," the lawyer said, "But why? You'll be dead soon, why do you want to become a Democrat?"

"That's my business! Get me the form!"

Four days later, the priest was administering last rites to the swiftly failing old gentleman, and the lawyer was present. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, "Please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to become a Democrat so badly before you died?"

In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said: "When I die, there'll be one less Democrat."

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Refugees

We returned home Saturday, tanned and relaxed but road-weary, from our month in Paraguay. We probably weren't much fun for my family, but deeply appreciated the smiling faces and warm lunch waiting at home. We distributed some of the clever Christmas gifts acquired abroad, and my sense was that we did all right matching up trinkets with the people they would please.

I returned with some sort of lingering low-grade tropical fever, which I was fighting off with Ibuprofen and aceteminiphen, but also must have acquired a bit of a sniffle on one of the flights (easy to do). So Sunday, I kept my head down and watched football, despite feeling like I ought to be getting into contact with all my friends.



Early Monday morning we wakened to what seemed to be a great chandelier crashing into our house. Exploding transformers lit the sky from time to time, and the sounds of snapping branches resembled gunshots. The ice storm hit us hard, and there are now a couple dozen tree limbs scattered in our yard. The largest crashed into our grill and deck, generating the shattering noise which roused us. About 4:30 a.m., the power went out. And didn't come back.



So we became refugees less than 48 hours after returning to the sanctity of home. Monday I worked from my road office at Panera Bread, once the sun came up and we were able to carve out the car. We spent the next day-and-a-half at our friends' place -- four people and four dogs trying to enjoy the adventure. But I was constantly worried about the pipes freezing.

Michigan after an ice storm is a world changed. It is beautiful beyond words, a crystal cathedral which seems frozen in time in the post-storm stillness.



Fortunately, the power company was able to restore service at about 9 last night, and we were able to return home. Today's my first day working from my own computer.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

TUESDAY EVENING QUIZ, 1/14/07



WHO WAS IT .... who, during the last national election campaign, in 2003-4, accurately predicted what would happen in Iraq?

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NOTE on last week's Tuesday Ev. Quiz: The picture of men drinking beer while the children sighted rifles over a car's hood was represented as being an example of the Citizen's Border Guard, or the MINUTEMEN, as it's been called. I doubt that the picture represents anything but a joke. But, I thought it was curiously suggestive of a certain cultural proclivity...

Thanks to those who commented. :)
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"L'etat -- C'est moi!"


From the transcript of Scott Pelley's 60 Minutes interview with the person in the White House, broadcast Sunday, Jan 14, 2007.

CLICK

PELLEY: Do you believe as commander-in-chief you have the authority to put the troops in there no matter what the Congress wants to do?

BUSH: In this situation, I do, yeah. Now, I fully understand they could try to stop me from doing it. But I made my decision, and we're going forward.

A SILVER LINING? Hmm......

NEWS REPORT;

Jan 09, 2007
Last year was the HOTTEST EVER RECORDED in Scotland, and temperatures are set to soar in the long term, weather experts have forecast. Latest figures by the Met [i.e.:Meteorological] Office show that the country is facing climate chaos, becoming increasingly warmer and wetter. Thermometers reached 8.25C in Scotland in 2006, well above the long-term average of 6.97C. July was the WARMEST MONTH EVER RECORDED NORTH OF THE BORDER


WHAT THE SCOT GIRL WORE LAST YEAR






WHAT SHE'LL BE WEARING NEXT YEAR

ANOTHER WOODCHIP OF WISDOM (borrowed)


"If you elect a really dumb president, you're going to get a really dumb country."
---Kurt Vonnegut

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Monday, January 15, 2007

BULLET TRAIN

TAIWAN'S BULLET TRAIN

Will carry passengers across the Island at 210 mph. Due for full service this year. Began runs on Jan 5, 2007.

Always an Amazing Blue

To hell with the Lions!

Nuts to the Bowl Games!

We Wolverines still have a hero!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

HEE, HEE, HEE .....



"I'VE JUST BEEN READING SOMETHING FASCINATING IN MY MAIL ... I MEAN, YOUR MAIL, OR MAYBE OUR MAIL."

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xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

GOOD NEWS

Small Note of Big Impotance


They're safely home. They brought me a hammock. Perfect for snoozing in the arboretum. And, it has no plastic parts. :)

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DRIP....DRIP....DRIP.... slowly freedom drizzles away

Military Is Expanding Its Intelligence Role in U.S.

By ERIC LICHTBLAU and MARK MAZZETTI
Published: January 14, 2007
The New York Times

WASHINGTON, Jan. 13 — The Pentagon has been using a little-known power to obtain banking and credit records of hundreds of Americans and others suspected of terrorism or espionage inside the United States, part of an aggressive expansion by the military into domestic intelligence gathering.

The C.I.A. has also been issuing what are known as national security letters to gain access to financial records from American companies, though it has done so only rarely, intelligence officials say.


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ARTICLE NYT

Saturday, January 13, 2007

SATURDAY: PERSONAL NOTE

"O FRABJOUS DAY..."

Today, American Airlines is delivering our children home from Paraguay. While we're very glad they had the experience of going, we're equally happy that they're coming home now."

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Friday, January 12, 2007

WACKO OF THE WEEK

There are three credible nominees this week

COACH GREGORY BURR

faces dozens of charges involving 10 teenagers 14 to 17 years old. The incidents at The Monument Academy in the Tri-Lakes Colorado area spanned several months, records show. He is accused of striking the boys in the testicles with basketballs and tennis balls and with his hands, a form of disciple not appreciated by modern society.

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ARCHBISHOP STANISLAW WIELGUS

the newly-appointed archbishop of Warsaw, resigned on Sunday after admitting he had spied for Poland's communist-era secret services, the Vatican's mission in Poland said. Complicity in the tyranny of anti-Catholic dictatorships is not in the best interest of the Church. It's hard to explain.
07 Jan 2007 REUTERS/Peter Andrews

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GEORGE W.BUSH



When the whole world is screaming, "Get out of Iraq", he tells the nation to send in more marines and seems to have been issuing warnings of war against other countries, as well.

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Your votes and contributions are welcomed, as always

TRAGEDY and TEARS





Mark! where his carnage and his conquests cease, He makes a solitude and calls it--peace!
: Lord Byron --The Bride of Abydos (canto II, st. 20)

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Thursday, January 11, 2007

RUINATION

MY TWO CENTS WORTH

January 11, 2007! Is this the day
that American soccer was ruined?
Until today, the highest paid
player in Major League Soccer
was Landon Donovan. Last year
he was paid $900,000.



DAVID BECKHAM

Beckham announced that he has signed to play soccer in the U.S. He has been a very
great player on European teams Now
he will be paid 50 million dollars a year. There is no team in America with a total player salary expenditure that high. Thus disappears one of the unique qualities of American soccer.
Now the sport will become as money corrupted as most other American sports.

I am naive, I suppose, but also now very disappointed.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

My Turn

Well hello everyone.
I think I am finally ready to put my experiences of Paraguay into words. About time, I know. I´m afraid I don´t have the great craft of writing as securely mastered as my co-writers of this site do, but I will do my best.
The spanish keyboard is quite different down here as well- so I´m having to concentrate very hard just to find the letters I want. :)

I suppose this entry will be more of a summary, since it is now Wednesday evening, and we leave early Friday morning.

Mi familia.
I once thought I was related to everyone in the small rural town of San Lorenzo. That was 20 years ago, and now that I really think about it, it was probably true. But I did spend the first few days saying hello to those I met this time as though they were- hoping that I wasn´t offending anyone. Turns out that was probably a good way to go about things--- because even if I´m not related to them, at least they think I´m friendly.
My father had 12 brothers and sisters. My uncle Isidro´s (whom we´re staying with) wife had 17 brothers and sisters. Family gatherings around here are rather large--- so all in all, I think my philosophy of hugging and kissing anyone who is admitted into the courtyard is a pretty good one. If I recognize them... that´s even better.

San Lorenzo.
Sadly, it is no longer small and no longer rural. It has been absorbed, if you will, by Asuncion, the capital of Paraguay. The church that my grandfather helped fund and build has become a cathedral in the last ten years or so. The cobblestone streets are now mostly paved, and my uncle´s home is close to/on, a major corner where most bus, truck, taxi, and the occasional ox and horse cart traffic converge. When I was little, the little oasis on the corner was a pretty special place to me. It´s been hard to note the changes and not grieve for the spots that held memories for me. Necessity and progress have gone about their business in the wrong way, from my perspective. But being a person who now only comes down every 5-6 years, I shouldn´t complain.
I see disappointment in my father´s eyes sometimes though, on what has happened to the family property and the surrounding areas... If you knew how close my father and I are--- I guess it´d be easier to understand.

My father.
Nice bridge, huh? Papa has been exceedingly generous and thoughtful--- being the 'insiders' guide' to Paraguay. He has been equally hilarious and most definitely 'the man' around town. People just do anything for him--- he just asks, and they do. No wonder he´s a little disappointed when that doesn´t work with my sisters and me.

My father and Scot.
It must be a guy thing. But... I have learned more things from my father, about my father, through stories he´s told Scot. I just happen to be in the room or general vicinity. Go figure. They talk, they laugh, they make jokes, they debate, they wonder, they twiddle their thumbs (their own, not eachothers´,) they fix, they drink and eat, they drink more, they make fun of eachother, they make fun of Isidro or me or the average passerby, they ask questions, they talk history and politics.... I´m glad they get along.... and I get a look or comment from Papa every once in a while that tells me I chose well :)

Scot.
A champ. I don´t know what else I could do to him to make him feel more out of his element culturally.... and expect him to adjust... but he´s done extremely well. In just under three weeks he has adjusted, participated wholeheartedly, has had thorough conversations with others with and without help translating, and has won the heart of an increasing number of my relatives. Particularly when he buys the beer.

I should probably stop for now. My mother arrived today finally--- and I should spend some time with her before we leave. :) More later.

PERSONAL NOTE

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THE FUNNIEST THING


The funniest thing I have read in many a long winter Michigan day is the story in ONION entitled BUSH FINDS ERROR IN FERMILAB CALCULATIONS (which could be the longest sustained insult against a sitting President since the Clinton impeachment resolution.) Every time I see even the title, I laugh.

CLICK FOR ONION ARTICLE

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Andy Borowitz: God holds press conference


God Denies Talking to Pat Robertson
(Supreme Being Calls Televangelist ‘Delusional’)


Just days after the Rev. Pat Robertson claimed on his “700 Club” program that God warned him of “mass killings” in the U.S. late in 2007, God held a rare press conference today to deny having spoken to the controversial televangelist.

For the usually publicity-shy King of the Universe, the press conference held at the Chicago Airport Marriott signaled a sharp break with tradition.

But appearing before the press in His trademark flowing robes and white beard, and carrying what appeared to be a lightning bolt, God said that He decided to convene the extraordinary press briefing because “I had to set the record straight about this.”

“I want to make it clear that at no time at the end of the year did I have any conversation with the Rev. Pat Robertson,” the Supreme Being said. “Personally, I think the guy is delusional.”

JAPAN'S BULLET TRAIN





Beautiful, eh?
And how does this sound? Detroit to Miami in 7 hours.
A dream.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

REPUBLICAN HUMOR (prt. 11)


We can thank a good friend, Bill of WNNCO for this offering. Turns out Bill has solid connections in the highest levels of conservative drollery. We are very grateful for his contributions.
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I bought a new Lexus 350, and after fiddling with the radio I was unable to make it work, so I returned to the dealership to complain. The salesman showed me that the radio was voice activated and illustrated by calling out "Ray Charles" whereupon the radio started playing Crying Time. After a little practice, I had the thing operating perfectly.

The next day, I was cut off in traffic by a young couple speeding along.

"Assholes," I shouted from my Lexus window.

Immediately, the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

Damn, I LOVE this car!