OLD CHIP, GAMECOCKS, and ROTTEN PEOPLE

Old Chip is still away, but he hasn't forgotten his friends or his blog. I haven't had a good chance to keep up with the news on many days, but I do what I can. Old Chip is still away from his own computer, and with his guide and reprimander, Chippie, is enjoying somehwat warmer weather and sunnier weather than his people left up north.

Right now, we're in Columbia, S.C., home of a fine university that has struggled out of its benighted past as a rock of the confederacy and refuge for southern-belle types,and has become a very excellent modern university. South Carolina is ranked second in baseball at this time, and we will be going to two of their games this weekend because our friend Marsha is a high mucky-muck and gets us free tickets.

One thing I have noted in the news is the story of the guy who attacked the hundred-one-year old woman and stole her purse. Another one I noticed was that Skuzzy, or whatever his cursed name is, was found guilty of killing that little girl in Florida. [You know, like he left enough clues to convict himself even if he had been O.J. with a friendly jury.]

These are reprehensible people. I'm hoping there is a just punishment awaiting them --- those who victimize the helpless. What do all-y'all readers of ARBORETUM recommend for these freakazoid molesters?

I wish Scot would write an editorial comment on this just as he wishes people would comment on his Irish donkey story.

SCOT TAKES UMBRAGE AT HIS HUMORLESS FRIENDS

HEY ALL YOU WHO LOVE SCOT..........

Please respond to his posting about our uncle: the rubber suit, the Irish brogue, the donkey, and the hotel room. You will find it below. Don't make us come after you with a Cheney-gun.

My Horoscope for the Week

Cancer June 22 - July 22

"You believe there to be only two types of people in the world, those who dismiss your opinions as intensely ignorant and drunk Irishmen."


What's your horoscope? Have a look

last TUESDAY EVE. QUIZ

YES!

You guys are right about last Tuesday's Quiz. It is a Tasmanian Tiger.

The other animal is actually a dog and is called a
Chinese Crested.

P.S. .... I'm still on vacation and using an lien computer.

America's Most Important Choice

Nemesis was the Greek goddess of revenge, the punisher of hubris and arrogance in human beings. It was she who led Narcissus to the pond, where he drowned after falling in love with his own reflection. (That's her in the picture). "Nemesis" is also the title of an important new book.

Historian and foriegn-affairs expert Chalmers Johnson says America must decide if it wants to be a Repubilc or an Empire. We're trying to have it both ways, and the choices are mutually exclusive. I agree with him. In this interview, he ties together a large number of loose ends which you may not have thought connected. He also talks about the problem of Americans' ignorance of the actions of their own government.

Read the interview: http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/030607O.shtml

SYCMU: There's an ass joke in here somewhere

My brief experience with "Stuff You Can't Make Up" has been a pure joy, and in some ways I'm sure we've just scratched the surface here. But as long as I shall live, I doubt I'll find one to top this. We may have to suspend this feature after this one.

In an article which I would have headlined "Latex-encrusted Mick Ass Perv Arrested", we learn of the fate of one Thomas Aloysius McCarney, who recently found himself in a Galway, Ireland courtroom:

A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his room in a Galway city centre hotel, because he was advised “to get out and meet people,” the local court heard last week.

Thomas Aloysius McCarney with an address in south Galway was charged with cruelty to animals, lewd and obscene behaviour, and with being a danger to himself when he appeared before the court on Friday. He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who caused that damage.

This is just the beginning, I assure you. I highly encourage you to go read the entire story.

(Thanks to BoingBoing for finding this)

Not quite Shakespearean, but...

Blogger Andrew Sullivan on his strange attraction to Bill O'Reilly:

You find yourself watching him the way you sometimes smell your own farts: it's disgusting, but you can't help yourself.

From The Daily Dish

OLD CHIP SKIPS TOWN

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I will be gone for awhile.
Scot will be up-dating ARBORETUM




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MIAMI TALES #3

WHEN we were in Miami, we went down to the South Beach area where there are those many marvelous old buildings from the 1930's - and after - built in the "art deco" style. Chippie thinks they're beautiful and we all were struck by the uniqueness of the neighborhood and the bustling activity of the whole area.

WHILE WE WERE THERE, we saw one of those cars advertising GEICO insurance. It was parked obtrusively at a curb, with pictures of its mascot prominently displayed on the side.

"Oh look," said John, "A DECO GEIKO GECKO!"
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CHENEY SEZ: "I tawt I hoid a BOOM!"

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Hey, I don't know about all you other children of the Warner Brothers era, but when I heard about our distinguished V.P. running for the bomb shelter, I had a throw-back to those marvelous days of yesteryear.

cf: Crawford's reminiscences over at "The Thing That Should Not be" CLICK HERE

TUESDAY EVENING QUIZ 02/27/07

1. WHAT THE HECK IS THIS THING?



2. WHAT THE HECK IS THIS THING?
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NOTE ON LAST WEEK'S TUESDAY QUIZ:

BOTH GUESSES GIVEN BY READERS WERE WRONG!

The gentlemen shown in the picture last week, is actually President Yayeh Jammeh, of Gambia, who claims he can cure disease.

On Thursdays, he cures AIDS. On Saturdays, he cures asthma.




READ ABOUT IT HERE:CLICK

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SYCMU: Hitch-hiked from Washington

You may find this really, really, really, really hard to believe, but the man in this picture may not be the upright gentleman you would think from his picture. In fact, Ohio police have arrested this man -- one Christopher Barnhill -- for soliciting a 14-year-old girl for sex on the Internet.

I know, I know -- he doesn't fit our age-old Ned Flanders notions of a dweeby pederast, but looks can be deceiving. Barnhill (and this detail is pricelessly pathetic) apparently hitch-hiked from Washington State to an Ohio truck stop, then called her from a nearby Kroger -- surprise! -- to see if she would meet him. That, fortunately, is when mom caught wind of the scheme.

The story itself, of course, is just evil and not nearly unusual enough. But because of this picture, I have to put this one in the "Stuff You Can't Make Up" file.

Toledo Blade: Wash. state man held in attempt to meet B.G. girl

REPUBLICAN HUMOR (prt.14)

BRIEF QUIZ.

Complete this statement by Bill Clinton:

" I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH - "







A. Barnyard Animals
B. A skinny woman
C. Anyone in Utah and another state I can't remember
D. Anyone normal
E. Hillary

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DAMN!

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Cheney plane lands in Singapore after minor problem

Sun Feb 25, 2007 2:07am ET

By Caren Bohan

SINGAPORE (Reuters) - U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney's plane, which encountered a mechanical problem after leaving Australia to return to the United States, landed safely in Singapore on Sunday.

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O-h-h M-y-y G-o-d-d!!!!

TWO PEAS IN A POD YOU CAN SEE THE RESEMBLANCE.



Yes, read about it here: CLICK

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Knowing the propensity of the Thurmonds to screw the help, maybe it's no surprise.
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WE APPROVE

AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH wins Oscar

The documentary, An Inconvenient Truth has received further acclaim by winning, as expected, an Oscar at the Academy Awards.

There is considerable consternation among the deniers about this, although the global warming skeptics are inclined to excuse this award by saying that Hollywood is full of of gauzy-eyed lefties who fall for any ninny's nonsense. I heard some of those folks rattling on about it last night on the radio.


Here's the thing that, from ARBORETUM's point of view, must be kept in mind. Whether or not Inconvenient Truth wins an award is basically irrelevant. The world is either warming or it is not. This warming is either a danger to us all, or it is not. Oscar has nothing to do with it.

It seems that Inconvenient Truth has won world-wide approval, quite apart from the approval given by Hollywood. So, let the nay-sayers keep neighing. People of good will amongst us will keep trying to improve things despite them. And not because of the Oscar.

MORE GOOD NEWS

Every fall, millions of butterflies emigrate from the United States and Canada to Mexico, where they winter in the Sierra Madre mountains. These resting and breeding grounds are threatened by development. It's that same old problem. Do we need the resources, or do we need the wonder of nature?

Scientists, naturalists of all stripes, and tree-huggers of the most blatant kind have pleaded and demanded that Mexico do more to preserve what is left of the forests. Otherwise, with no wintering territory, it is certain that monarch butterflies will become extinct.

The President of Mexico, Calderone, has now promised that Mexico will institute a zero tolerance policy towards further destruction of the habitat.

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READ THE STORY
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WACKO OF THE WEEK, 02/25/07

Yes, it would be easy to simply declare Britney the winner. Clearly she's silly and maybe crazy. She treats rehabilitation like she treats marriage: today it's on, tomorrow it's off. But ARBORETUM will pass on this slam dunk.


We were tempted to give the award this week to Dick Cheney. It's not that he's been out hunting again, but rather that he's been traveling the world further damaging American foreign policy interests. Now, he's fulminating against China, one of the few countries in the world which might pose a serious threat to us.

But, once again, we pass.

Then there's the weeping judge who decided to let Anna Nicole get buried. He looks and sounds like a wacko, but he seems to have arrived at a sound and well-reasoned decision with which most people agree. So, he may weep and be weird, but we don't think he's wacko --- at least not this week.

SO THEREFORE, let it be known:
This week's honor is shared by two educators.

1. Anthony Giancola, principal of a middle school in Tampa Florida, was arrrested in the lobby of his school, during school hours, after buying crack cocaine from a policeman right in the school office.

2. Bernadette Burks an elementary teacher in Saginaw, MI, arraigned on counts of maintaining a drug house and resisting a police officer.

The burden of being in charge of other people's children, or any children at all, is huge and can be daunting. But the responsibility is even greater, and the duty to be good to those kids is absolute.

He said so himself

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"And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it."
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The self-proclaimed decider of our country, on National Public Radio


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